Moving through the materiality criticisms of my handmade books I decided to make paper at home. I had to create my own equipment as I could not find any in the area to purchase and to buy it was expensive with long delivery times.My initial batches were coarse and grey as I was using a substandard blender and the paper had a lot of printer ink on it. It was also heavily textured due to the fabric I was using to place it on. I replaced that and fixed the other teething problem and created some almost white paper. I was trying to maintain an element of transparency but this proved to be very difficult with the paper tearing and breaking up. Once I dry I did some ink experiments with the pieces. Because the paper doesn't go through any finishing processes it is absorbent and allows the ink to bleed through. I think this could be made a feature but where it absorbs too much ink it very quickly disintegrates. I next used threads in the process of papermaking, laying them on and in the paper solution as I was creating the sheets. This relies on the paper fibres to hold the thread in place and is not the most secure way of doing it. After a short time, the threads began to come away from the paper. I also sandwiched the threads between sheets but this rendered the paper very thick and the threads not as visible. I do really find something pleasing about the piece that created holes, this unperfect aspect in an art form that prides itself on perfection moves me back into the thinking of chaos and order.I did stitch a piece but it doesn't photograph well, this is a piece of Japanese paper that was also stitched. It holds the threads well whereas my handmade paper tore quickly and I abandoned stitching it further to save the piece. Perhaps the next point would be to continue until is does destroy itself and see what happens.