At the end of MA1, I was starting to share some text-based work - I was uncomfortable and unsure where is would sit. I sat with it though, stopped resisting and let is flow when it was ready; normally when I'm uncomfortable or thinking too hard. The release has been greater when I'm FEELING, the angst of a teenager in a group of peers, the threat of defeat, in a discussion/debate, the worry of time.
I'll share some below in their formatted nature:
1.
Expectations to be
freely burdened
selfishly open
marinating in practice
Non-stop
Til it pops
Or the plot lost.
2.
Choosing the cliché,
The ego wants it;
to be outlived
beyond genes,
suffering for satisfaction.
3.
Stitching, embedding, encasing it in,
binding stories
entombed into work
to speak for itself.
Be unseen while being seen,
read less of me,
read my visual language.
Don't understand?
That's not my problem.
I'll dilute it for you,
a sprinkle of me to
digest.
Maintain the intensity,
judgement on women, expected,
judgement from society, a given.
Sacrifice for it
sacrifice all of it
it does not matter
just the work.
Want them.
Want me.
They are commodities
I am a commodity.
Consume me.
4.
Layers
Distance
Transparency
Layers add transparency
Layers make opacity
Layers make body
Body makes validation
Validation gives weight
Weight gives body
Body made of layers
Layers are opaque
Opaque avoids transparency
Transparency avoided.
To see through is to see clearly Unobstructed.
Does obstruction give interest Or avoidance?
To see clearly removes the layers,
looking for transparency
removes the layers that are needed,
layers of interest and context.
To be layerless but be layered.
5.
6.
To feel numb
Withdrawal
To be judged,
Expectation
To be in a world
Existing
7.
I will not be judged by my writing so I refuse to make writing.
I will be judged for not writing.
I will be judged.
8.
Hostility,
condescension.
Movement.
Allegiances pledged,
Movement requested,
status stationery.
In out, back forth, struggle.
Struggling
Seen
Unseen
remaining vague.
Complaints
Unwanted
Speaking out
stay quiet.
9.
Requisitioned power,
Ignored incitement,
that is uncomfortable.
Clean it up, please.
Honesty is requested,
But make it metaphoric,
coded.
Think as a 'we',
in a loop of narcissism.
A truth to be worked at,
unresolved introspection.
Show the struggle,
without victimisation.
Within the complexity remain visibly invisible.
10.
Collision of dialogues
Practice
Colliding of people
Practice
Colluding of counterparts
Practical
Conclusion of parts
Enviable
Crisis of conclusions
Inevitable
Critical collisions
End.