In anger I lashed out at the page, I needed the hug of the charcoal on paper - I never thought I'd hear my self say that. The abandonment of life drawing has finally caught up with me, the charcoal is haunting my thoughts, sneaking in with its lustful desires, calling and tempting me with its sensuality. My person and my business collided, I felt the anger and frustration well up - I decided to drown it in the paper and the charcoal; satisfyingly building the piles of dust on the pages as I scratched out the work.
I looked and felt like the collision was missing from the work - then I saw it - the devastation on the page, black smears tainting the pristine surface, fingerprints and smudged edges, dust and layers colliding with the white expanse. The collision happened both physically and mentally, the lines collided on the page, the thoughts collided in my head, my fingers collided with the charcoal and the page. The devastation was satisfying, the aftermath was beautiful.
To give poetry a voice is a tricky thing; its translated in such an individualistic way when read as a flat text that to speak it can provide agency or urgency but may also change its perception to those that have already perceived its voice in their own head.
At the end of MA1, I was starting to share some text-based work - I was uncomfortable and unsure where is would sit. I sat with it though, stopped resisting and let is flow when it was ready; normally when I'm uncomfortable or thinking too hard. The release has been greater when I'm FEELING, the angst of a teenager in a group of peers, the threat of defeat, in a discussion/debate, the worry of time.
I'll share some below in their formatted nature:
1.
Expectations to be freely burdened selfishly open marinating in practice Non-stop Til it pops Or the plot lost.
2.
Choosing the cliché, The ego wants it; to be outlived beyond genes, suffering for satisfaction.
3.
Stitching, embedding, encasing it in, binding stories entombed into work to speak for itself. Be unseen while being seen, read less of me, read my visual language. Don't understand? That's not my problem. I'll dilute it for you, a sprinkle of me to digest. Maintain the intensity, judgement on women, expected, judgement from society, a given. Sacrifice for it sacrifice all of it it does not matter just the work. Want them. Want me. They are commodities I am a commodity.
Consume me.
4.
Layers Distance Transparency
Layers add transparency Layers make opacity Layers make body Body makes validation Validation gives weight Weight gives body Body made of layers Layers are opaque Opaque avoids transparency Transparency avoided.
To see through is to see clearly Unobstructed. Does obstruction give interest Or avoidance? To see clearly removes the layers, looking for transparency removes the layers that are needed, layers of interest and context.
To be layerless but be layered.
5.
6.
To feel numb Withdrawal To be judged, Expectation To be in a world Existing
7.
I will not be judged by my writing so I refuse to make writing. I will be judged for not writing.
I will be judged.
8.
Hostility, condescension. Movement. Allegiances pledged, Movement requested, status stationery. In out, back forth, struggle. Struggling Seen Unseen remaining vague. Complaints Unwanted Speaking out stay quiet.
9.
Requisitioned power, Ignored incitement, that is uncomfortable. Clean it up, please. Honesty is requested, But make it metaphoric, coded. Think as a 'we', in a loop of narcissism. A truth to be worked at, unresolved introspection. Show the struggle, without victimisation. Within the complexity remain visibly invisible.
10.
Collision of dialogues Practice Colliding of people Practice Colluding of counterparts Practical Conclusion of parts Enviable Crisis of conclusions Inevitable Critical collisions End.
Monday 4 June: DEADLINE FOR PRACTICAL WORK SUBMISSION - End of unit review AR/CW
AimEncourage greater speculative and experimental approaches to visual research and making.Emphasis on risk taking, risks that are personal to you. Curiosity and suspension of your usual judgement are crucial. Reflect carefully.Choose an area to explore that will challenge you.You may need to change your plan as you go along.Not expected to produce fully resolved work;The quality of the exploration is key.Outline Project PlanUsing the structure below, produce an outline project plan to be discussed in tutorials on 12 March and uploaded to your MA journal:
What are your starting points? – be specific
What am I thinking about?The fundamentals of the Everyday - to date practices has addressed a concern for the decay of social decorum and the prevalence of neglect for the Everyday. - systematic disintegration leading to encasing the chaos in a confined space. How is communication and daily practices affected in environments where these vary due to cultural expectations? Is this discord accepted and how?Looking at: the bourgeoisie and their elevation from the everyday. Does this elevation exists today: does status or wealth create a simplified routine?; what are the commonalities and differences according to sociocultural factors?; or are the basic components of living so intrinsic that routines are fundamentally equivalent? Lefebvre, Rhythmanalysis creates a science of analysing daily rhythms, inherent in my work. How do the rhythms of daily experience filter in to art? how has this shown up historically? how this affects artists and the current market?Whitewashing, genre, inherited genres (gender, race, age, class), control, space, confinement, touch, personal space, routine, space of routine, repetition, chaos, fragmentation...
What are you curious about?
What am I reading, what is drawing me in? What artists am I curious about? What materials am I curious about? What techniques do I want to explore?Currently reading on Colonialism, deconstructing Colonialism, post-Colonialism, Orientialism, 'whitewashing', the narrative of history, identity politics; these subjects specific to the gulf or UK 'commonwealth' - that term in itsself. Coexistence and intergroup cooperation. Transience, permanent impermanence, 'migrant, expat, national'. Time and consumption of time in routine. Routine, culture and place. Negotiation of routine, time. The chaos of routine, how routines are shaped, deconstructed and reconstructed. Textiles and routine, domesticity, the sense of touch and everyday life, pattern, repetition and fracturing/fragmenting.Artist in the region, looking at pattern, similar concepts, or materials? Whats more important to my practice? Can I find artists that come under all of those headings? Do I use contemporary artists, peers? or art historical references? Do they need to be highly successful or can they be emerging?Books, layers, lines, disruption, neutrality, binary, repetition, paper, paint, wet, dry, encrusted, texture, touch, comfort, weight/wait, time passing. fabric, stitch, fragility, density, opacity, fibre, cloth, natural/degradable, dissolvable...
What strategies will you adopt?
How Am I going to do this?Be structured and methodical, keeps clear notes - probably best to use this platform so it's in one place. Feel self conscious about that but can use passwords. Keep to the timeline, reference it regularly, make a time planner to map out slots during the weeks to accommodate each task for the course and other commitments. Thank goodness reading groups end this week! Photograph, document, upload, repeat...
What are your personal risks?
What scares me? Is it practical risks, theoretical risks or personal/private risks? This scares me... being distracted. Not producing enough, not understanding or misinterpreting the task or feedback. Underachieving, I know what I am capable of but seem to hold myself back, becoming self critical and apprehensive until I give up as it feels like the safest option. Comparison scares me, wanting to achieve and understand things in the manner of my peers.
What challenges do you anticipate?
Time, organisation, overwhelm, distraction, feelings of imposterism, insecurity, comparison, fear.
Plan an outline programme over 13 weeks; build in time for reflection and evaluation:
Week 1 Feb 18thComplete Mapping the territory, print large scale mindmap to work in to, use to outline concepts, generate ideas and moving forward.Produce outline plan first draft, produce some experiments regarding initial thoughts from current practice.
Week 2 Feb 25th Begin research reading and gathering, use Textile reader (Hemmings, 2012) and Everyday Reader (Highmore, 2002); texts related to touch, histories, colonialism, colour, routine, textile usage. Explore artists already working around my exploration (also links to contextual study). Continue production experiments, break process down and source materials.
Week 3 Mar 4th Reflect on current production, note relationship to readings, additional areas to explore or possible changes in direction etc.
Week 4 Mar 11th Continue with production, once each moment of production is 'completed' as such, reflect immediately to stay on top and also revisit and compare with previous productions - Mon 12 Mar: Tutorial AR
Week 5 Mar 18th Be aware of burn out or possible stopping points, challenge with an activity from the list provided to move work in to another dimension/area/scale/technique. Mon 19 Mar: Tutorial DK ART WEEK DUBAI
Week 6 Mar 25th Production, again being aware of reflection, and managing the other course commitments, refer to course-mates for progress and feedback, communicate strengths and weaknesses and possible areas for consultation Mon 26 Mar: Exploratory Project - Challenges and Learnings - Seminar
Week 7 Apr 1st HALF WAY POINT good time to review the current body of work, what is successful and what isn't. Can anything be 'rescued' or needs to be cast off? is it fulfilling the initial concept and ideas? Does it need to? Has it produced new ways of thinking? Changed direction? What unexpected things have emerged? Have I challenged myself? Does this still feel safe? How can I take even more risks? Prepare for making day. Create a list of questions to pose to group for structured and meaningful feedback. Sat 7th Apr: Making Day
Week 8 Apr 8th Production, again being aware of reflection, and managing the other course commitments, move forward using findings and feedback from making day.
Week 9 Apr 15th Production, utilise activities list if stuck or needing an extra challenge. Prepare for Group crit next week.
Week 10 Apr 22nd Production, self reflection and future planning. Prepare for tutorial with AR next week Mon 23 Apr: Group Crits 1/2 cohort
Week 11 Apr 29th Production, again being aware of reflection, and managing the other course commitments, move work forward using critique from tutorial Mon 30 Apr: Tutorial AR
Week 12 May 6th Reflection and assessment of progress, prepare for group evaluation, clarify thoughts and findings, plan for future development of practice Finish: 11 May: upload images by 24.00 for group evaluation and seminar on 14 May
Week 13 May 13th Deadlines for contextual study and PPP, thinking about submitting work for assessment, evaluate progress and outcomes. Mon 14 May: Exploratory Project Seminar / evaluation - Mon 4 Jun: DEADLINE FOR PRACTICAL WORK SUBMISSION - End of unit review AR/CW
Meet in a small group at least twice throughout the project. MZ, RF, KVW - GCC collective (although that is an actual collective that exists so may need a new name!)
Suggestions for Activity from project brief:
immersing yourself in a subject or narrowing your subject
breaking a habit or acquiring a habit
generating lots of visual ideas from one source or trying the same idea again and again
changing scale, mass, speed, volume, orientation
moving into colour or moving into monochrome
testing materials or learning a new technique
using drawing or photographs of existing work to rework pieces
combining, juxtaposing or sequencing existing work
encouraging ambiguity, taking risks, doing something open-ended, pushing a piece of work as far as you can
collaborating with someone or something else
responding to an artefact or archive
producing a series of experiments
constructing work from multiple parts
exploring collapse and disintegration
borrowing strategies from other fields
Project evaluation Use the following to structure your evaluation in your MA journal, feel free to amend or add categories/questions. What did you discover?What went well and why? What did not go so well and why? Comment on what have you learnt about:
Your making and thinking process
Your use of resources
Your capacity to take risks
How you cope with problems and challenges
How will you use what you have learnt in the future?You will be asked to share your experience of this project in one-to-one conversations with others in the group.
Up scaling work from the hand-bound book overlays using a domestic printer and adobe acrobat to tile print the images. The smallest images in the photgraph below are A4, the middle image is ink on paper, a fragment drawn freehand, from the page that was then scaled up in the printing process.Using a scrap length of muslin, the cloth I favour due to its transparency, I taped to the largest image and utilised various colour markers to trace out the different fractured patterns. This is prep of density embroidery testing.
The books are constructed of left over photocopies. The larger one uses Japanese papers as well, sandwiched between the printer paper. Their construction is detailed in a previous post.
I have since worked in to the books by repeating my process of tracing over and through, allowing the patterns to cover both sides of the pages. The first book detailed below is 9.7 x 11.4 cm, 15 fragmented pages and is constructed of fragments of colour photocopies of sketchbook pages.
I used a black ink pen to trace the patterns on to the blank sides of the paper. I traced all that I could see through the pages, using a light box and building the density. Text is also visible from repurposed paper. I find the messy overlap and overwhelm of the pages intriguing, it has elements of construction sites, road networks, commutes or flightpaths to it.Like the invisible threads that follow us through our daily timelines, criss-crossing as we pass each other by.
The next book is 13.2 x 13.2 cm, 14 pages and constructed of monotone photocopies that had been cut previously in to rough squares for a project that lost momentum. Some are missing corners and vary in shape as they were cut for the aesthetic value of the fragmentation of the pattern.
Some of the images had also been used to trace from, so the back side is covered in pencil graphite. I liked the contrast of the rough pencil filling spaces and building the lines thicker so I continued this is variation to complete all the pages. Only the pattern on the other side is transferred in this book form. Seeing the pages open in the photographs highlights some surprising compositions, the seem to provide movement while alluding to missing parts, like the parts of a story left to the imagination.
The large piece (23 x 30.5 cm, 17 pages including covers), is a blend of printouts and Japanese papers. The images are both digital versions of the patterns and digitally enhanced enlargements of drawn patterns.
This book is a combination of the previous two. The viewable patterns are traced on each page, using different materials/colour inks (black, grey ink, graphite, varying thicknesses) creating a density on a single page that is then enhanced by the underlying pages. There is a beauty in the unexpected symmetry that appears as the pages are turned.
I feel frustrated that I am trying to move away from constraint but seem to be moving further in to it.
Construction camps | labour camps- Flooding with people - council housing / Acton, London
The repetitive nature of a building - stacking recreated into another repetition - looming - unstable as architecture - repetitions of daily notices - subtract areas of image - create extra tall images then change fragments of the pattern so it doesn’t work (repeat).
investigating won planning, city planning, pattern of dwelling, how cities grow & build skyscrapers (IE: book on building Effiel tower) - feeds into fractal patterns -
Watching this video of my sketchbook, I feel uncomfortable about the first half as I feel I have moved on so much from this. It makes me cringe a little. My research really developed from the second sketchbook onwards and had a positive impact on my work. I do, however, feel that it’s time to revisit starting points and clarify the connection between subject and research as it’s feeling disconnected. The style can remain the same; in the essence that they are abstracted and fragmented patterns but I feel that the initial subject matter of architecture may not be the right one.
Retrieval Practice:
Retrieval Practice Completed March 2017 cotton thread, ceramic Various, Max: W6cm L7.5cm D2cm Exhibited in ‘Made in Tashkeel’ group show at Tashkeel Gallery Summer 2017
The routine and repeated act of retrieving shells from a shoreline, curated collections of natural debris gathered into vessels to claim and suspend memories. An act that transcends class, nationality, religion, gender and age, it interlaces the presence of persons on a coastline and the removal of artefacts contemporaneously.
Retrieval Practice Completed March 2017
Retrieval Practice Completed March 2017 detail
Retrieval Practice Completed March 2017 detail
Still intrigued with this piece. Really enjoyed working with ceramics and the process of mould making although since creating these I have access to equipment that will make that process quicker if I deem it necessary. The fragility of the weavings, the thread and the intricacy brought about a feeling of the fragility of the environment from which the shells were originally collected, they aspect that it is repetitively put through rigours of human use daily, grinding and removing the debris of its natural inhabitants.
Divergent Resemblance:
Divergent Resemblance Feb 2017 cotton thread, cotton muslin, aluminium mesh 80cm x 80cm Exhibited in ‘Mind The Gap’ group show at Tashkeel Gallery March 2017
Embroidered panels of household cotton and wire mesh, symbolically interlace sub-cultures. Sunlight exposes the layers, reflecting the daily navigations of different sectors of the UAE. My work questions the ease of communication and quotidian practices in an environment where these vary due to cultural expectations, and how this discord can be accepted in a harmonious manner.
Divergent Resemblance, Feb 2017
Divergent Resemblance: Detail back, Feb 2017
Again, still enthralled by the research behind this pieces and wish to explore it further, by bringing the visual research into closer conjunction with the theoretical research taking place. Looking at whether to gain observational research from figurative, architectural or objects forms, whether gestural work is enough. Concerned about the obvious link between the genre of everyday studies and objects and thus have been avoiding that route so far.
The Entropy Series:
2D images (titles below each), acrylic, archival watercolour paper 18cm x 28cm each
The Entropy Series aims to capture the gradual decline of routine through the repetitive cycles of discipline and disruption. I reflected on how the daily routines of humans transmute to accommodate unforeseen changes of circumstances, and how the chaos of life today provokes disparate reactions and actions in people.
87 Unremitting, July 2016
84 Obstructed Pathways, July 2016
85 Heavy Grasping, July 2016
Initially a lot of pride and satisfaction with these pieces, it felt like I had turned a corner, which I still think I did to a point. However, looking back at them now, they feel naïve and not well thought out. There was a lot of chance in these although executed in a routine manner, as was my personal brief.
The Development Series:
This is the Development Series; photography is used to document the structures and repetitions of the ‘planned city’ and translated into digital geometric studies. Inspired by an interest in the daily advancement of the city through its construction, the repetitive frameworks of humans creating growth and changing outcomes. I am intrigued by the monotony that leads to a conclusion, after which the same processes are picked up and moved forward to another project and recreated to provide yet another outcome.
4484 (a) 2016 digital print
4484 (c)2016 digital print
I feel there is commercial scope for these and have had some success with sales through an online art site. I enjoy the process of making them and they fulfil the need for digital and commercial design work that I was initially trained in. I have considered recreating in paint, at a very large scale to see the outcome as I feel the monochrome would be engulfing and the size of the block shapes quite overpowering which is a state I would like to see created in paint.
Using a scrap length of muslin, the cloth I favour due to its transparency, I taped to the largest image and utilised various colour markers to trace out the different fractured patterns. This is prep of density embroidery testing.
